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Media Piranha - by signals

Media Piranha - January 2007

When Going To The Sheriff's Office Don't Take Your Drugs

January 29th 2007 17:18
A man with a warrant issued for his arrest was asked to go to the Sheriff's Office for questioning. When he arrived, he was served the warrant and arrested for obtaining a false prescription.

The man was then search and got caught with Lortab pills and three Florida driving licenses. Needless to say that just because you co-operate with the law, doesn't mean you'll be free to go. The moral should be to leave incriminating evidence at home or elsewhere!



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The Confused Superhero

January 28th 2007 21:35
If you ever read comic books or watched Superhero shows, you may have noticed how confused they are when they discover their super-powers. Peter Parker didn't realise that a radioactive spider had changed him until he started doing things he never did before. Thus with the X-Men, Fantastic Four, etc., mostly Marvel seemed to have the heroes that became or later discovered their superpowers.

Well this isn't really about a superhero per se, but we will call him The Human Torch from the Fantastic Four fame. Were your eyes deceiving you or was that the Human Torch driving away from a burning house??? Perhaps he didn't know how to use his powers for good, justice, and the whole crap! The Human Torch can fly and doesn't start houses on fire for the hell of it.


That would be exciting, wouldn't it? This is more of a chicken-without-the-head fact. It goes something like this...

If a man sets himself on fire in a house, how far can he drive while still on fire? The answer is 5 km., and it doesn't appear that the Human Torch died, but just suffered BURNS! Imagine being on fire and suffering burns? While he was driving he did manage to hit a couple of vehicles, thus giving extra paperwork to the overworked police!

This was all over some domestic incident.

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Are You On Drugs?

January 27th 2007 21:59
Sometimes I have to wonder if people are really on drugs or just plain stupid. With all the high-tech criminals and hackers that are being arrested daily, one has to wonder what a stoned marijuana dealer's brother was thinking...if you can call it that!

The brother boasted about the homegrown cash crop and the frequency of their marijuana usage on his MySpace page! Well, I hope for his sake that his brother doesn't post bail too soon!
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Twenty Science Facts or Myths

January 21st 2007 20:46
Turns out that if you cut a chicken's head off, the chicken still continues to live. Not only does it continue to live, but the recorded record is that of a chicken that lived for 18 months without a noggin! Here are 20 most popular myths in science. Don't try to power-up your brain, because it's at maximum usage right now.

The earth's rotation has nothing to do with the direction of the water in either of the Hemispheres. Your hair and fingernails don't continue to grow after one's death. There is no real zero gravity! OK, you get the picture. Finding out the reasons why is entertaining in itself


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War Of The Roses

January 20th 2007 18:23
Like the movie War Of The Roses there is a divorce war brewing in Brooklyn. A couple who is divorcing is living in a house that both refuse to leave. It's getting so bad that a judge ordered the house be divided by a wall! In the meantime, accusations fly from both litigants in what can be viewed as a bitter tit-for-tat battle.

The couple owns another house a few doors down, but both insist on staying in their current home due to stubborness, spite and love for the home and themselves!
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Rain Kills!

January 19th 2007 23:19
Among everything else that destroys the planet, are you ready for this? Scientist say that raindrops can wreck havoc! The scientists next project is to find a way to blame humans for causing raindrops to fall with such force!
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The Monkey-Business Paternity Test

January 17th 2007 22:44
In Chimp Haven sanctuary a female chimp has given birth to a baby girl. I'm sure six of the seven male residents are scratching their heads as are the staff. Unless this was a virgin birth or miracle, the seven males that reside with the female have had vasectomies!

Now the seven males have to submit to a paternity test! Workers have collected hair samples, and once the culprit is found, it's back to the snip-OUCH-snip table!
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You've Come A Long Way, (Muslim)Baby!

January 15th 2007 17:36
If you look at women in swimsuits around the 1920s, or before that, they are usually pretty covered up. Swimming must have been a chore for them back then. Nowadays women can wear little to nothing on beaches and no one bats an eye. Unless of course your a Muslim woman.

Because of their beliefs, Muslim women are not allowed to show more than their face, hands and feet in public. They either have to avoid swimming altogether or wear bulky clothing to swim. You probably know that something is coming to tap into that market! The Burqini is the Muslim women's answer to the bikini.
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Dog Isn't Talkin'

January 14th 2007 23:54
The crackerjack investigator has determined that a duck hunter was shot and killed by his dog! That's their story and they're sticking to it!!!
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Al-Jazeera Learns A Lesson

January 14th 2007 20:30
Al-Jazeera found that freedom of speech isn't always free. A journalist was detained in Egypt for fabricating scenes of torture. The torture scenes were staged in mock police stations. Al-Jazeera claims that they were done with actors to be reenactments of torture scenes.

Either way, Egypt isn't the US, Britain, Australia or your basic West where you can get away with it.
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Food Or Fuel

January 14th 2007 01:47
The new president of Mexico may be the center of a controversy as the prices of tortillas have risen to an all time high. Since the US is seeking fuel alternatives that seem to center on corn-based ethanol, the price has skyrocketed for the corn tortillas. The US is one of Mexico's chief corn supplier. The price rise has been felt especially by the poor.

The President promises to find alternative and cheaper importers of the grain. I don't get it. Can't corn grow in Mexico?
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The Pilot Who Couldn't Drive!

January 13th 2007 00:46
Capt. Hanadi Zakariya Hindi is about to make history and begin a legacy. She will become the first woman pilot in Saudi Arabia. Later this year as soon as she completes her advance pilot proficiency training programme, she will begin flying one of the jets owned by a Saudi millionaire. The 26 year-old female Saudi pilot is breaking ground in a very woman-restricted Country.

Imagine the fact that she has to be driven to and from the airport. Sure, we all dream of chauffeur driven limos with full bars and all as a luxury, but Hanadi can't drive herself. In Saudi Arabia women are still not allowed to drive


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The Disgraced Miss Nation Pageant

January 12th 2007 00:25
We might get into the Miss USA bullcrap and the current Trump-O'Donnell feud that has drawn in Barbra Walters and the ever popular Madonna. It's like tabloid trash sells and that is what is happening in the States. Who cares about Trmp-O'Donnell-Walters and most of all Madonna?

Seems the British take their Miss GB pageant seriously. At least more seriously than the Americans who rely on the Casino owner to decide what's best. Miss Great Britain was disgracefully stripped of her crown after it emerged she posed naked for Playboy! Now she is being sued for 100,000 GBP by the pageant bosses who claim she brought the competition into disrepute through her behavior.
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Baffling Police With The Obvious

January 10th 2007 23:23
These are 'the finest' who need your help at solving how a tree trimming truck ended up on top of a parked porsche.

The article sounds like the truck came from out of nowhere. In reality they were working nearby, and something went wrong...kind of like the owner of the Porshe went ballistic!
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Streaking Can Be Hazordous

January 9th 2007 22:31
Streaking during a football victory celebration may not be a great idea. Just ask the streaker who was hit by a car. The streaker suffered serious head injuries. You can be sure that when they don't release the condition it must be bad.

The not releasing of the name, makes me wonder if the streaker had any ID. Oh, that's right, the person was naked! I hate to think what the paramedics had to do.
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Saddam Cleared Of Charges!!!

January 8th 2007 18:06
Court drops charges against Saddam for Kurds' deaths! Even with his empty chair, the case against Saddam continues. In the US we would be crying over our wasted dollars, but not in Iraq. Nine days after Hussein went to the gallows, the court dropped all charges against him.

What dilemma would arise if Saddam was found guilty again? Perhaps his corse would be hung, over and over and over again! That corpse would go on a hanging tour


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To Drink or Not To Drink?

January 7th 2007 17:00
Do you like beer but say that you are not an alcoholic? Then perhaps the 365 different beers in 365 days is a challenge you can't resist! Apparently there is no limit how many beers you can drink in one sitting as long as you try one new one a day. On the seventh day of guzzling sparky has downed 22 beers.

Sign up and keep track of your progress, and since it involves alcohol, you can lie about it!
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Bin Laden Entertainment

January 6th 2007 00:13
If Osama bin Laden wasn't a terrorist mastermind, he probably would have been an entertainment mogul. From someone who loved McGiver and Wonder Years, to a strange fetish for Whitney Houston, bin Laden had the money to live like a rich capitalist off the backs of the little people.

To start off, let's meet Wafah Dufour. Wafah has been trying to break into celebrity-dom since she danced with Jenna Bush in Paris. This was when Jenna was a topic of boozing interest and before 9/11. You see Wafah has a name that is more notorious than Hitler. Wafah's real name is bin Ladin! Although spelled differently, she is Osama's niece. Her mother was married to his 47th half-brother, or something like that


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The Internet Mafia

January 3rd 2007 23:18
They make you an offer that you can't refuse, but once you sign up and agree to the terms the only way out is death. This isn't the conventional organised crime syndicate, but rather an Internet Service Provider. The bad side is that it isn't only ONE internet provider!

Many Internet services have easy sign-up plans, but trying to quit is like pulling teeth, literally! It isn't only the cheap ones like NetZero, but AOL has been accused of continuing to dip in your account even after you terminated services


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